Author: mark

SCHEMA: “1. a diagrammatic representation; an outline or model; 2. (Psychology) a pattern imposed on complex reality or experience to assist in explaining it, mediate perception, or guide response.” — The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

Glitterary Week is proving to be a challenge. It seems the Lexicide fanbase is quite persnickety, railing, for example, against the interchanging of Use/Usage/Utilize. I should have expected this, as Lexicide.com is no doubt an exercise in futility, preaching only to the caring, literate choir.

A schema is a cognitive framework that assists us in processing information. Think of a schema as your browser cache — it allows you to interpret data faster. A scheme is a plan or system of plans. Chances are, unless you’re a psychologist or philosopher, you will never have occasion to use schema (or its plurals schemas and schemata) correctly. That doesn’t stop hoity-toity lexicidal maniacs from offering marketing schemas or business development schemas. I’ve even had clients refer to color schemas. Come on! Do you want me to start talking about process control documentas or business modelos? No, don’t answer that.

— Otto E. Mezzo

Reference: Wikipedia entry on schema according to Kant

USAGE: “1. the action of using something or the fact of being used; 2. the way in which a word or phrase is normally and correctly used; 3. habitual or customary practice” — New Oxford American Dictionary

UTILIZE: “make practical and effective use of: vitamin C helps your body utilize the iron present in your diet.” — Ibid.

Of all the online submissions to Lexicide, usage and utilize seemed to have raised the most hackles. We have avoided addressing these usages because the subtleties are beyond the understanding of most corporate zombies. If that strikes you as a tad supercilious, I remind you that this is the crowd who thinks FYI stands for “just in case.”

But the fans have spoken, so here goes… Usage, according to most sources, refers to standard practices (language usage) or ongoing deployment (water usage). If you speak of singular events (the speech made good use of analogies) or deployments with a beginning and an end (bandwidth use in April was double what it was in March), then use use.

Likewise, utilize is not an all-purpose synonym for use in the verb form. It means “to make practical and effective use of,” as in “we utilize our turnkey technology platform to increase efficiency.” See? I used it in a weasely corporate-speak sentence, but I used it correctly. It is not correct to say an employee should utilize a procedure or best practice, or that a client should utilize his browser to access a website. Even worse to claim your company utilizes effectively or best utilizes something — both are redundant.

When in doubt — and doubt you should — use use. Use use. I’ll say it again: use use. The best thing about simple words is they are usually correct. In all the examples above, use works, even if usage or utilize is also on the money. But use is too direct, too active and too understandable, so it’s out. Which explains why sysadmins now have “clients” instead of “users.”

— Otto E. Mezzo

Vaguely related to usage is signage, which refers not to signs but to a system of signs — a store has eye-catching signage, except for some signs that need to be updated. I remember when the suffix age threatened the business world until people came to their senses and realized shrinkage and tonnage sounded okay, but costage and profitage were not going to fly. Still, my colleague received an email once that asked her to reduce her lineage. The department puzzled over why the client was concerned with her ancestry until we realized with horror what the client was requesting — to reduce the number of lines of copy in an ad.

For fun: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2058/whats-the-origin-of-the-suffix-age

SIMPLISTIC: “treating complex issues and problems as if they were much simpler than they really are” — New Oxford American Dictionary

Glitterary Week actually began earlier this month when Lexicide published a fan submission so egregious we couldn’t wait to get it out there. We kick off the official event, however, with simplistic, which way too many people use when they mean simple.

As any ape can see from the definition, simplistic and simple are not synonyms. Concrete things, such as machines and people, can only be simple. Ideas, plans and solutions are simple if they are easy to understand and express. They are simplistic if they lack the depth and intricacy needed to address the problem or issue. Putting up a fence to keep out coyotes is a simple solution for a sheep rancher. Putting up a fence to keep out illegal immigrants is a simplistic solution to a complex problem.

As with so many other misused words (too many to list here), simplistic is a negative word, yet consultants crow about their simplistic strategies and sales reps brag about how simplistic their software solution is. If you are one of these people (hands proudly on hips or thumbs hooked smugly in suspenders), then carry on with confidence. For one day, your idiocy will win the day, the word simple will cease to exist, and you will join your products in being called simplistic.

— Otto E. Mezzo