IANAL. That’s why I don’t write like one.

IANAL (I am not a lawyer), so I do not write or speak in legalese. Why would I want to? The dense, antiquated language of legal documents makes for great bedtime reading – if you’re an insomniac. I understand its purpose (married to a lawyer, thank you), but like most jargon, it has no place outside a legal brief.

AND YET business writers love borrowing jargon. They steal from scientists and pilfer from engineers, so what’s to stop a marketing director or analyst from using legalese? For example: including but not limited to. As we have covered before, the word including already implies the following list is not all-inclusive.* Lawyers add “but not limited to” to make doubly clear the parties of the first and second parts understand that, but you don’t have to.

Making points doubly clear is actually the point of legal language. English courts set up by the Normans used French terminology (including but not limited to estoppel, mortgage, plaintiff and defendant, force majeure, and attorney, which is why we pluralizeattorneys general” a la française), but also used the English (Germanic) terms alongside, creating doublets we use to this day:

  • Aid and abet
  • Free and clear
  • Null and void
  • Sole and exclusive
  • Will and testament
  • And, of course, law and order

As you can see, usually the Anglo-Saxon term comes first, often because it’s shorter. (One notable exception: to have and to hold, a phrase that does not mean “to possess and cuddle,” but rather “have care of”. Yes, I think this is sweet, too.) The point being twelfth-century English barristers had a reason for redundancy: making themselves clear to both English and French speakers. Today’s lawyers cite tradition as their reason. What’s yours?

You have no excuse. Including but not limited to belongs in contracts and nowhere else. The same goes for whereby (use where) and hereby (cut altogether). Also, joint and several does not simply mean “several.” It means “together and separately” (sever forming the root of several). And no, several does not connote a specific quantity, so it is fine to boast of your company’s several, multiple or plentiful achievements rather than insist on only using the vague numerous.

So please stop using legal terminology in company communications. I understand you like verbiage. But no company ever got sued for glowing, yet truthful, PR. And YANAL. Court adjourned.

– Otto E. Mezzo

*And for the sake of the great Learned Hand, please do not end your not-all-inclusive list with etc. We get it already.

Reference: http://www.adamsdrafting.com/historical-roots-redundant-synonyms/

Bleeding Edge

Google_Glass_with_frame

BLEEDING EDGE: “A product or service that is so new it has not been widely adopted by consumers and therefore carries a higher degree of uncertainty as to how it will fit in with existing goods and services. Something described as bleeding edge would be considered more advanced than something considered ‘cutting edge’. The higher degree in risk associated with the product or service means that the consumer might be “cut” by using such a new good if it fails to gain market acceptance. The term is often used to refer to new technology.” – Investopedia

The trouble with buzzwords is they quickly become clichés. I had a client who wanted their billing system described as state-of-the-art. When I asked what made it so, she replied that they had just added QuickBooks compatibility – in 2012.

DiffusionOfInnovationFortunately, I count quite a few true innovators among my clients. Of course, the trouble with being a true innovator is distinguishing yourself from impostors like my QuickBooks client. If everyone claims to be state-of-the-art or cutting edge, then what is a true pioneer to do? Innovate with words, of course! Others may be on the leading edge, but we are on the bleeding edge. Mmmm.

The only trouble is bleeding edge actually has a negative connotation – namely, technology that is so advanced or so outside the norm as to be risky. Anyone here invest in a Divx DVD player? A BeOS computer? How about Google Glass? You got cut by the bleeding edge, girl. Yes, you did.

So why saddle your company profile or marketing copy with such a deadly phrase? Is it because you heard someone else use it incorrectly? Or is it because you can’t bear to be plain-Jane leading edge? If you’re a true innovator, why not spend some of your R & D dollars on a copywriter? She’ll cook up any number of glittery words to describe your position of visionary global leadership in strategic best-in-breed future-tech development without resorting to iffy phrases like bleeding edge. Your marketing materials will still be riddled with tired clichés, but at least they’ll be the clichés you want. Put a Band-Aid on that, girl.

– Otto E. Mezzo

References: http://www.investopedia.com/terms/b/bleeding-edge.asp

Thematic (sighted on The Washington Post)

Potential Hillary Clinton supporters told ‘inevitability is not a message’

“A tough thematic will be, ‘a time for change,’ and you can shove a lot under that thematic.” Ickes said.

Any word worth using wrong is worth using wrong twice.

Reference: http://www.washingtonpost.com/potential-hillary-supporters-told-inevitability-is-not-a-campaign-strategy/2014/11/21/df8978bf-eec8-4d40-8e53-c80ef51be874_story.html

Shibboleth

Shin

SHIBBOLETH: “1. an old idea, opinion, or saying that is commonly believed and repeated but that may be seen as old-fashioned or untrue; 2. a word or way of speaking or behaving which shows that a person belongs to a particular group.” – Merriam-Webster Dictionary

And the Gileadites captured the fords of the Jordan against the Ephraimites. And when any of the fugitives of Ephraim said, “Let me go over,” the men of Gilead said to him, “Are you an Ephraimite?” When he said, “No,” they said to him, “Then say Shibboleth (שבלת),” and he said, “Sibboleth (סבלת),” for he could not pronounce it right. Then they seized him and slaughtered him at the fords of the Jordan. At that time 42,000 of the Ephraimites fell. – Judges 12:5-6 (ESV)

Maybe I actually paid attention in Sunday School, but when I hear shibboleth, I think of the original Biblical definition, not the current meaning of “oft-repeated axiom.” Because shibboleth is a long, vaguely obscure word of foreign origin, it gets lots of play in the media and on conference calls everywhere. Ah, I thought, a perfect punching bag for Lexicide.com!

Imagine my surprise, then, to find the current definition goes back to 1862. In the 1600s, when people were more Biblically literate (if they were literate at all), when Anglophones heard shibboleth, they thought “watchword.” That changed over the next two centuries, I guess because passwords become rote when used too often. I wouldn’t classify this as a logical shift, but when are these shifts ever logical?

This doesn’t mean the original meaning has disappeared, but it has taken a backseat to the newer definition. This may be one lexicide that never truly dies, for what else would you call a loyalty test based on pronunciation?  According to some sources, American troops in the Pacific tested for Japanese infiltrators by making then say “lollapalooza,” an impossible feat for those whose native language has no L sound. (Chinese, Korean, and other oriental languages have the L sound, so any portrayal of a Chinese subbing Rs for Ls is wrong!)

So as the Gileadites knew, shibboleths divide, not unite. As a result, they receive a fair amount of opprobrium from “the expert class,” who sniffs at any whiff of provincialism. I care not. I have my own shibboleths – if you use these words correctly, I acknowledge your project requests. If not, well, let me introduce you to the paper shredder at the fords of the Jordan. Shalom, suckers.

Otto E. Mezzo

References:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shibboleth
Acknowledged in the article at http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/shibboleth:
American Psychological Association (APA)
Chicago Manual Style (CMS)
Modern Language Association (MLA)
Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE)

Block and tackle

450px-Block_and_tackle_(PSF)

BLOCK AND TACKLE: “A piece of equipment for lifting heavy objects, which works by a system of ropes and pulleys (small wheels around which the ropes are stretched).” – Oxford Advanced American Dictionary

I’m losing my touch. I used to encounter weasel words weekly, and now it seems I’m behind the curve. Last week, a client on a conference call averred that we had to block and tackle a project. When I brought this up to colleagues, they were shocked – shocked! – that I, proprietor of Lexicide.com, had not encountered this term until now.

As if my status was not already in jeopardy, my co-workers also thought I was being overly fussy about the weirdness of this term. They always assumed blocking and tackling referred to defensive American football plays. To me, block and tackle as a phrase refers to a pulley system – a machine one uses to lift the engine out of a car. Both metaphors are equally apt and also equally imprecise. If you go with the football analogy, what’s the blocking for? Why not just tackle a problem? If you’re mechanically inclined, block and tackle seems overly wordy. Brainstorm, fix or attack a problem, and you’ll sound just as masculine and action-y. But no one in American business ever got a raise for conciseness.

In the end, my colleagues defended block and tackle as both entirely appropriate and birthed not in the garage, but on the gridiron. Just like tight end, which has become my new nickname in the office.

– Otto E. Mezzo

References: Wikipedia page for Block and Tackle
Ask the Manager’s “The 25 Most Annoying Business Phrases”

 UPDATE (September 3, 2014): Several readers have blitzed me for an incomplete pass. Block and tackle, they claim, is not an expression for attacking a problem. More precisely, to block and tackle means to get down to basics of a problem and solve it at that level – in other words, to not overthink the problem. They assume this because blocking and tackling are the foundations of defense in American football.

That is not the sense I got on my call. My client’s manager only said “I think we just need to block and tackle this,” or something equally prosaic. Was she imploring us to not overthink the solution? Considering the project was a one-page microsite on which she “tweaked” the font size four times, I think not.

The Sweet Spots: Bailiwick and Wheelhouse

The Bailiwick of Jersey (photo from Wikipedia)
The Bailiwick of Jersey (photo from Wikipedia)

BAILIWICK: “1. the office or jurisdiction of a bailiff;  2. a special domain” – Merriam-Webster Dictionary

WHEELHOUSE: “an enclosed area on a boat or ship where a person stands to steer” – Merriam-Webster Dictionary

[IN ONE’S WHEELHOUSE] “Baseball (of a pitch): within the zone that is most advantageous for a batter to hit a home run” –Dictionary.com

Regular readers of Lexicide know what a grouchy, curmudgeonly bunch Lex and Otto can be. Nevertheless, we occasionally quit our grumping and play nice, and since the days are longer and the honeybees are aflit, we’re going to take a sojourn to the Channel Islands this month for bailiwick.

If you’ve never been (and I have not), the Channel Islands are picturesque (not picaresque!) storybook lands. They are also some of the last surviving bailiwicks in the world. A bailiwick is a territory presided over by a bailiff, a bailiff in this case being a magistrate who delivered and enforced summons and presided over the courts of the peasantry. In the United States, bailiff almost exclusively refers to the peace officers in courts who move prisoners around, but the word survives in its original form in Jersey, Guernsey, and the Channel Islands of Britain. The word has the same origins as bail (as the security you put up to gain your freedom while you await trial), but it does not share an etymology with bailey, as in the Old Bailey, the Central Criminal Court of England and Wales. In this case, the bailey is the fortress enclosure where the Old Bailey now stands. Both words, as with many English words in jurisprudence or military lexicography, come from the French.

So bailiwick as a description of your special dominion (of skill, knowledge, etc.) is self-evident. What about that other great buzzword du jourwheelhouse? Everyone knows a wheelhouse is the bridge or pilothouse of a boat, but it’s also a baseball term for a batter’s sweet spot – the space in the strike zone where he has the greatest hitting power. Ah, now the metaphor becomes even more appropriate! Unless, that is, everything is in your wheelhouse, an expression I’m hearing more and more (“SaaS cloud platforms are firmly in our wheelhouse, and so is Bauhaus architecture!”).

Because, you know, companies want to be all things to all customers. Just remember the wheelhouse is the sweet spot. Everything else you can hit (even if you shouldn’t) is your strike zone. Beyond that – well, let’s just say you only get three of them.

– Otto E. Mezzo