Earlier this year, Lexicide addressed the tendency to add unnecessary letters to a word to fluff them up a bit. …And here we go again. I have seen clients, contractors and colleagues drag out percentile when they mean percent, as in: “We aim to command 25 percentile of the market in five years.” If they’re really trying, they’ll tack on the definitive article to make it “We aim to command the 25th percentile…” Both are wrong. In fact, the second one is, in my opinion, worse. The first one you can chalk up to ignorance or carelessness. The second one shows you’ve seen the word in its correct form and have chosen to use it stupidly. Why would you want to control the bottom 25% of the market, whatever that means?

Percentile does not mean “percent.” If it did, it would be spelled p-e-r-c-e-n-t. Percentile also does not mean “percentage,” as in “We aim to increase our percentile of market share.” Hey! Why not just avoid the problem altogether and write “We aim to increase our market share.” There’s a thought. But I don’t need to tell you that. After all, we’re all in the 95th percentile for intelligence here, right?

— Otto E. Mezzo

P.S.: Oh, and you know what else bugs the snot out of me? Percentage points, as in “We aim to increase our share by 20 percentage points.” What are you, Don King? Increase it by 20 percent and the board will be just as happy, and with the money you save on toner, you can buy one of these.

REDUNDANT: “exceeding what is necessary or normal: superfluous” — Merriam-Webster Online

CNN.com | June 18, 2010: So now you’re abandoned and redundant, wondering whether it’s OK to go see the latest Pixar without a youngster in hand. Yes, it’s OK; you owe it to yourself.

Are you redundant if your children are grown? No, even if you’re the nanny. Redundant is perched on the precipice of sliding into lexicide, helped along by the British, for whom redundant is official-speak for no longer needed (read: unemployed). But that is not what redundant means. Something that is redundant is serving the same function as something else. Far from being useless, redundancies in safety precautions, risk management and data centers are very necessary. Redundancies in writing, on the other hand…

My search of CNN.com underscores how vital it is we use our words correctly and not scoff, as so many do, at shifts in meaning. Case in point — the only reason the word wasn’t more abused this past month was the prevalence of BP officials touting the redundancies they had in place. They probably thought redundancies were “useless” too, and shut them all down.

— Otto E. Mezzo

References: http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Movies/06/17/toy.story.3.review/index.html?iref=allsearch

Repetitious and Redundant

CNN.com | July 19, 2010: We work constantly to reduce inefficiencies and redundancies, while preserving a degree of intentional overlap among agencies to strengthen analysis, challenge conventional thinking, and eliminate single points of failure.

CNN.com | June 25, 2010: The film spends so long running around in ever-increasing circles, it seems to forget where it wanted to go with these characters, and the third act forfeits on its promise of reversals, settling instead for repetition and redundancy.

CNN.com | June 20, 2010: At the same time, Gates has led an administration effort to refocus Pentagon spending by cutting what he considers to be redundant or unnecessary projects and programs.

And that’s in just a 30-day period on one major news website. Our appetite for verbiage truly is insatiable. Now, which is worse: repetitious redundancy or using redundancy as a synonym for useless?

— Otto E. Mezzo

References: http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/07/20/senate.clapper.hearing/index.html?iref=allsearch
http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2010/07/19/report-u-s-intelligence-community-inefficient-unmanageable-2/?iref=allsearch
http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Movies/06/24/knight.day.review/index.html?iref=allsearch
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2010/06/20/gates-spending-issue-could-cause-veto-of-dadt-bill/?iref=allsearch&fbid=JXQd5jZq3jE

If you don’t understand this definition (and I don’t), you have no business using the phrase impendance mismatch. And yet, decrying this tragic inconsistency is fast becoming the new delta (Not that delta was all that old).

Not being a techie, I’m a little hazy on how this phrase escaped from the rarified realm of electrical engineering, but it seems to have emigrated quietly into the world of software development, notably in the term object-relational impedance mismatch. Already, this is wrong. Nowhere is impedance in play; the term should simply be object-relational mismatch. But geeks will be geeks. MBAs, not to be outdone by their jargon-spewing colleagues, are latching onto the phrase to sound more knowledgeable, and now it’s spilling over into “the real world,” as in this op-ed on toll roads:

Relative to what is levied, there is an impedance mismatch between what we pay and the services that are rendered.

What’s wrong with mismatch? How about inconsistency or disconnect? Here’s a good one — use active voice and say “What we pay in taxes doesn’t match the services we receive.”

Meh, like anyone cares what I think. The impedance in impedance mismatch adds nothing but ignorance and verbiage to your writing. However, because it adds a sort of fluffy pretentiousness, it will win and succinctness will lose. If that isn’t an impedance to good writing, I don’t know what is.

— Otto E. Mezzo, suggested by Lex

IMPORTANT NOTE: Please please please don’t follow my example. The correct word for something that slows you down is impediment. Impedance refers only to resistance in an electrical circuit. So please — oh, never mind. Just shoot me now.

References: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impedance_matching
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object-relational_impedance_mismatch
http://mainlinemedianews.com/articles/2010/06/29/main_line_suburban_life/opinion/doc4c2a4dfbb29e7673502036.txt

Searching for stock music is agony enough. Getting the right mood, tempo, breaks and length is like lining up stars — an Olympic task if you’re not God. But describing music must be an even more daunting chore. One can’t use keywords such as “businessman,” “beach” and “yoga” like you can to describe stock photography. So writers for stock music libraries must get creative:

A bit wild, careless, spiteful and with a little bit of blues-rock feeling as well.

The supremely refreshing and relaxing sound of the stream is only accompanied by occasional distant birds, singing carelessly and taking absolutely no notice of you.

Careless, feelgood music.

Ooh! Cue vibraslap. Careless is not the same as carefree. Careless means negligent, sloppy — not something you want in music unless it’s your kid’s elementary school orchestra. Do not confuse it with happy-go-lucky or sans souci.

But wait! you say. Look at the fifth and six definitions in AHD4:

“5. Unstudied or effortless: danced with careless grace; 6. Exhibiting a disposition that is free from cares; cheerful: a careless grin; a careless wave of the hand.“

Aha! Lexicide loses again! Well, I give you that definition 6 seems to cross over into carefree territory. But I did a news search and found only correct uses across the board. So if you want to tell your clients you take a careless approach to account management, go ahead and be careless. Just don’t come running to me when you misplace those purchase orders.

— Otto E. Mezzo

Reference withheld to protect my stock music supplier from ridicule.

You can’t get any more succinct than that. I would have never thought in lieu, as “I accepted store credit in lieu of a refund,” would be in question. Then, on May 5, I receive this email:

And in lieu of today’s date, the baby’s name will be Juanita Margarita.

You see, a colleague had just given birth and another colleague thought, it being Cinco de Mayo, the baby should have a Spanish name and — oh, screw it. The point is: WHERE DID HE LEARN THAT IN LIEU OF MEANS IN RECOGNITION OF?

The best explanation I can think of goes back to days in lieu or lieu days — work days that one takes off in lieu of a holiday or in lieu of compensation for overtime. So maybe because in lieu days are in recognition of hard work —no, you know, this is just out of control. Once FYI starts meaning “just in case,” anything goes! Black is white! Right is wrong! The expedient brown fox leveraged an overt trajectory per the dog! Free! I’m free of true meaning! Woo hoo! Ni! Ni!

Otto will be on sabbatical until further notice. Cards and prayers are appreciated. Thanks. — ed.

“A new award recognizes the worst in ‘official’ writing — and attempts to shame governments and companies into communicating better. The Center for Plain Language hopes the award will encourage clear and useful writing.” (read the story at NPR.org)

A whole institution devoted to clarity in communication! After the exhaustion of Glitterary Week, this is a ray of sunshine. Let’s all strive for “ClearMark” awards!

Reference: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126224371

For our ultimate Glitterary Week article, I have dragged out disinterested, which some of you expressed an interest in. I thought it was well-known that disinterested means “impartial,” and that uninterested referred to someone who was blasé. Obviously that is not the case. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present Exhibits A and B:

“The Lakers have either been disinterested or dysfunctional in the final six weeks of the season.” — “NBA Western Conference playoff preview,” The Washington Post, April 17, 2010

“The period ended with the disinterested Devils being booed loudly as they were headed to their third straight opening-round elimination.” — “Flyers beat Devils, 3-0, to take series,” The Philadelphia Inquirer, April 23, 2010

Lest you chalk those examples up to the Neanderthal language skills of sportswriters, please refer to Exhibit C:

“Both the cinematographer and Nolan are disinterested in digital cinematography and very much prefer to shoot on film. That’s the root of their disinterest in 3D… The appeal of IMAX and the disinterest in 3D both come from that love of shooting on film.” — “Dark Knight Cinematographer Wally Pfister Talks Batman 3 and 3D,” /Film, April 21, 2010

Egad. That’s three misuses of the same word in two paragraphs. What do you expect? It’s a blog.

Now, I would go on and on about how judges are disinterested while teenagers are uninterested, but I won’t, for two reasons: 1) would it matter? 2) even if it mattered, it wouldn’t matter. Misusers would just argue that being unenthusiastic is the same as having no stake (which is not true, anyhow. A defense lawyer might be uninterested in a case, but he is far from disinterested); and 3) the meaning has already begun its shift to legitimacy. AHD4 lists as its second definition “2. a. not interested; indifferent; b. having lost interest” Merriam-Webster Online lists “not interested” as its first definition. ADH4 and NOAD refuse to acknowledge the shift, with 88% of ADH4’s Usage Panel disdaining it. But Random House and Merriam-Webster claim the “new” definition is not new at all, with M-W citing a letter Jack London wrote in 1914.

As for me, I’ll leave it up to you. After all, I’m disinterested in what you decide.

— Otto E. Mezzo

References: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/16/AR2010041604535.html?hpid=topnews
http://www.philly.com/inquirer/sports/20100423_Flyers_beat_Devils__3-0__to_take_series.html
http://www.slashfilm.com/2010/04/21/dark-knight-cinematographer-wally-pfister-talks-batman-3-and-3d/
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/disinterested
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/disinterested (Contains usage note from ADH4)
New Oxford American Dictionary, 2nd edition (2005)

As we sift through the stacks of emails, Facebook comments and tweets, we at Lexicide find ourselves filled with a warm glow. And it’s all because of you. Yes, we are the few, the literate few. But it’s nice to know you exist, gritting your teeth at the abuse of our language. That makes us a band of brothers and sisters, and it’s comforting to have allies in this unhappy war.

Lexicide began with a specific mission, which is to hold the line against meaning drift. Meaning drift isn’t always bad, but it’s dismaying these days because we’re losing so many handy words (such as leverage, delta and unique) to duplicate meanings — all due to ignorance and pomposity.

A day doesn’t go by when I don’t read an email, memo or webpage without a ridiculous lexicide. However, what really plagues me are “weasel” words — verbal padding. We must truly be an insecure society if we don’t feel we can say what we mean (nicely, of course). Having worked in marketing, PR and human resources, I’m well aware that American businesspeople walk on pins and needles every day, wary of offending colleagues, customers and bosses. But there must be a better solution than making sentences unintelligible.

Which brings me back to our Glitterary Week user submissions. The majority of them were not lexicides as much as unnecessary puffery, following the axiom that if a five-letter word tells the story, then eight is better and sixteen wins the Pulitzer. Here are some of the weasely constructions Lexicide fans submitted:

conceptualization instead of concept
incentivization instead of incentive
motivation instead of motive
medication instead of medicine

You know you’ve used some of these. You’ve probably also written some of these bad back-formations:

administrate instead of administer
orientate instead of orient
conference instead of confer
conceptualize instead of conceive
commentate instead of comment

There are some differences in nuance — motive seems to have gained a sinister tinge, no doubt propelled by the justice system and the phrase ulterior motive. And medication often refers to a protocol where medicine speaks in the singular voice. But if you can tell me why incentivization trumps incentive, I will give you a gold-plated Underwood.

So thank you again, friends, for taking arms against a sea of troubling corporate-speaking hacks. For they hold their corner offices cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us on Lexicide.com.

— Otto E. Mezzo